I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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