dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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