You're a womanizer and a bitch.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is Oprah even human
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
