Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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