apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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