i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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