So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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