Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I forget how to act sober
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
