we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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