Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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