Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
