Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
