im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
