some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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