what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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