is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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