Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
