is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm passing your future prison.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
