in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
