It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
