I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You are a genius and a whore.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
