You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
