well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
