he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
