she is the kim kardashian of front butts
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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