At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
