i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
