I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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