Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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