Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
