The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
