So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
love makes seman taste better
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Randomize
