Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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