even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
