Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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