i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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