dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
