Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
