How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I love you.
Bad choice
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
