so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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