it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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