I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
