One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
