Pregnant stripper...not hot.
it was like eating out sand paper
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
