Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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