I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
