Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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