ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
