She just used a chaser for red wine.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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