Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
